Abandonment issues arise from fear of loneliness, which is usually a phobia or a form of hysteria. These issues can impact your relationships and sometimes stem from the lack of your childhood. Other aspects that turn loss into an abandonment problem include environmental and medical aspects, genetics, and brain chemistry.
Early childhood experiences contribute most to the event of abandonment problems in maturity. The traumatic event may include the lack of a parent through divorce or death, or the shortage of physical or emotional care as a baby. Emotional abandonment occurs when parents:
- Don't allow your kids to precise themselves emotionally
- Make fun of your kids
- Putting an excessive amount of pressure on your kids to be “perfect.”
- Treat your kids like their peers
Abandonment issues occur when a parent or caregiver doesn't consistently provide warm or attentive interactions to the kid, causing the kid to experience chronic stress and anxiety. The experiences that occur during a baby's development often persist into maturity. This is why abandonment issues grow to be more common as you grow old and may impact your relationships.
Abandonment problems can manifest themselves in three insecure attachment styles. These are:
Avoidant attachment style
People who follow this style don't let anyone get near them. You may feel like you'll be able to't open up or trust others, making you seem distant, private, or withdrawn.
Anxious attachment style
People with any such attachment style cope by forming very close and dependent relationships with others. You could also be afraid of separating out of your partner and are likely to react emotionally. It will be easy to see conflict as a worry that your partner will leave you, causing you to act out of fear.
Disorganized attachment style
People with this attachment style have difficulty staying intimate and shut, but will also be inconsistent. You could also be afraid of a relationship or need to avoid closeness. This attachment style can include other potential disorders.
Abandonment issues aren't all the time attributable to childhood trauma. They can even develop after the lack of an intimate partner through divorce or death. These issues can negatively impact healthy relationships, whether through abandonment in maturity or childhood.
Fear of abandonment occurs in individuals who seem like “people pleasers” or need constant reassurance that they're loved. There can be a persistent anxiety that happens with abandonment issues.
The most typical signs of an abandonment problem include:
- Giving an excessive amount of or being overly anxious to please
- Jealousy in your relationship or of others
- You find it difficult to trust your partner's intentions
- Feeling insecure about your relationship
- Having difficulty feeling emotionally intimate
- The need to manage or be controlled by your partner
- Getting involved in unsatisfactory relationships
It's not unusual to want your partners to treat you an identical way you were treated as a baby.
When coping with abandonment issues, step one is to grasp what triggers you and learning to step away when those triggers arise. You also needs to attempt to speak about your fears more calmly and respectfully. It could also be helpful to do that with a partner, member of the family, or close friend. It could also be difficult at first, but you'll find that it gets easier over time.
There are two most important treatments for abandonment issues:
therapy
In therapy you'll be able to explore the reason for your fears and discover negative thought patterns. Your therapist will show you how to replace these with healthier, more realistic thoughts. Your relationship along with your therapist can even make you are feeling like you've got a protected relationship. By working with them, you'll be able to learn to set healthy boundaries in your relationships and avoid behaviors that hinder healthy relationships.
Self-care
By practicing self-care, you'll be able to make sure that your emotional needs are met. This can improve friendships and relationships. Self-care like journaling, going for walks, and other stuff you enjoy can show you how to feel fulfilled and improve your contribution to your partner, friends, or children.
Abandonment problems can arise attributable to many emotional and environmental aspects. If you're apprehensive about abandonment in your relationships, it could be helpful to see a counselor. A counselor can talk over with you about how you feel and develop a treatment plan.