Grief is the emotional process you experience after losing something or someone necessary to you. Many people consider grief as a time of intense sadness after the death of a loved one, but it might probably look different for everybody. Disenfranchised grief occurs when society doesn't recognize one's own grief.
Disenfranchised grief occurs when your grief doesn't align with the attitudes of your larger society toward coping with death and loss. The lack of support you receive during your grieving process can delay the emotional pain.
Our society has standards and expectations for the grieving process. Films, magazines, other mass media, and private interactions create and maintain these expectations. For example, a preferred psychological theory categorizes grief into five stages:
- Denial: Refusal to consider and accept a loss
- Anger: Intense frustration and blame-seeking
- Negotiate: Think about “deals” that might make up for the loss
- Depression: Intense sadness and lack of motivation
- Acceptance: Acknowledging the loss and moving forward in your life
Other social norms set expectations for grief. For example, some people expect you to recover from a breakup inside a number of months. Your employer may expect you to proceed to be productive even when you could have just suffered a loss.
Disenfranchised grief refers to grief scenarios which might be inconsistent with these expectations. It may be difficult to seek out social support and compassion for disenfranchised grief. Even if you happen to don't receive direct criticism from others, you may internalize the best way you grieve.
Many widely held attitudes and beliefs contribute to disenfranchised grief.
Workplace culture. Some jobs lead to heavy losses. Paramedics, doctors, therapists and other professions can expose you to the chance of death and loss as a part of their work. This can create a sense that these losses shouldn't trouble you personally.
Not a legitimate relationship. The loss of individuals or relationships apart from a spouse or immediate relations can still have a major impact on you. Others may not understand why these other relationships are so necessary to you, which may make your grief experience more isolating.
Not showing the correct emotions. People react emotionally to loss in other ways. Common images of grief can include crying, sadness and depression. Some people react in another way. They may show no emotion in any respect, feel relief, or another emotion that others may not expect.
Taboo reason behind death. Murders, suicides, drug overdoses, miscarriages and other causes of premature death may be difficult to speak about. Many people don't need to speak about and relive a traumatic event that led to death.
Grieving a loss that is just not death. Death is just not the one great loss one can suffer, but within the larger culture it is maybe considered an important form of loss. You can also lose someone who remains to be alive because you could have broken off contact or because their personality has modified drastically. Some people may not understand why a loss affects them deeply unless it's a death.
Social interactions. Others' reactions to your loss and grief may make you're feeling like you could have no right to grieve or that your grief is just not justified. You may hear:
- “Shouldn’t you be over it by now?”
- “You have to stay strong and keep going.”
- “If you don’t cry, it means the loss doesn’t affect you.”
- “It takes half the time of a relationship to get over it”
Examples of disenfranchised grief include:
- Dementia of a loved one
- Looking for a loved one
- Death of ex-partner
- Death of the perpetrator
- Death of a patient
- Death of a pet
- Separation or divorce
- infertility
- abortion
- Moving to a brand new community
- Losing a job
Disenfranchised and sophisticated grief can have specific details:
- The loss occurred a minimum of 6 months ago
- Intense, distracting feelings of longing and loneliness
- The feeling that life is just not value living after the loss
- Constant feeling of shock or numbness
- Excessively avoiding or looking for places, objects, or other things that remind you of the loss
- Obsession with the cause or circumstances of a death
Healing from disenfranchised grief can involve each personal and skilled treatment.
Therapy. Individual conversations and support groups can aid you understand and accept loss. Therapists can provide a helpful outside perspective to your inner feelings.
Personal work. You can work on your personal to develop thought patterns and coping methods that may aid you heal from grief. Allow yourself to feel your feelings without judgment. You can express your feelings through journaling, conversations with trusted friends, art, or other ways.
You can even create your personal rituals or traditions to acknowledge loss. Commemorating an anniversary or birthday, visiting a grave, or storing the belongings of a deceased person can aid you process a loss.