We all have expectations for various things in our lives. You develop them as you grow up. You don't even learn about lots of your expectations. They are typically based on parents, authority figures and different life experiences.
Some expectations might be good and encourage you to beat obstacles and pursue your dreams. However, in case your expectations are unrealistic, it might probably result in tension, misunderstandings, frustration, and more.
As an adult, you will have the chance to look at your values and beliefs and judge whether you will have unrealistic expectations. If so, that's superb. There are things you may do to alter your mindset and achieve more happiness in life.
At work. It is a standard belief that you will have to attend for the proper opportunity. The truth is that wishes and hopes can only take you to date. Nothing is guaranteed. If you actually need something, go for it and act on it.
Friendships. Consider this instance. Her roommate never thinks to do the dishes because his dad never did. While this will be an unconscious expectation, it is a sign that your roommate expects another person to do that. As you may imagine, this will cause tension between the opposite people living in your property.
A more realistic expectation is likely to be that everybody in the home should share responsibility for doing the dishes. Being aware of your unrealistic expectations and adjusting your behavior is an indication of emotional maturity.
Wedding. When on the lookout for your future spouse, you may assume that the one you marry can be your soul mate and “just gets you.” The truth is that you simply and your spouse have different backgrounds and different life experiences, so your outlook on life and the way in which you do things can be different.
It's okay to disagree on every part, to have differences of opinion, and to not all the time like one another.
Money. Another common expectation is the idea that the extra money you make, the more successful you can be. Making money is great, but wealth could make you poor in other areas of your life. Instead of spending your time chasing money, you may deal with providing value to other people while living a balanced life.
The key's to change into aware of your expectations and judge whether or not they are healthy.
You will know your expectations are healthy once they:
However, if you will have unrealistic expectations, you might find yourself putting in loads of effort and having little to indicate for it. Failing to satisfy an unrealistic expectation—equivalent to becoming a millionaire by age 30 or having a “perfect” life or job—can result in frustration, self-judgment, and even depression.
Before we will adjust our expectations, it can be crucial to acknowledge and appreciate where you might be in life. It's helpful to self-reflect to find out whether your expectations are realistic. Keeping a journal can make it easier to with this. If you discover that this is just not the case, don't worry. Identifying where you might be immediately is a superb place to start out.
From there, try the next suggestions:
Practice gratitude. Take the time to have a good time your progress, milestones and victories. Be grateful for doing the things you will have completed. This can make it easier to stay positive and stay up to the mark. Gratitude can make it easier to view setbacks and failures as learning opportunities quite than a source of negative feelings.
Crush comparison. Whether in person or on social media, resist the temptation to check yourself to others. Instead, deal with your well-being.
For example, on social media you may try asking:
- Are the posts I see making me feel worse or higher?
- Do I compare my body, my life or my success with others?
- Are any of my social media feeds negatively impacting my mental health?
As you consider your answers, you might have the desire to make some changes. Consider removing or suspending accounts which may be negatively impacting you. Instead, follow accounts that post funny memes, promote positivity, or share motivational content that makes you smile.
When it involves your personal relationships, it's easy to ask yourself similar questions. If you end up consistently comparing yourself to other people in your social circle, possibly it's time to alter your attitude or take a break. Remember that everybody has different problems and never each measure of success is the just one.
Be kind to yourself. Instead of telling yourself, “I should have done better,” tell yourself, “I did the best I could with the resources and time I had.” Show yourself kindness and acknowledge the hassle that went into it You put yourself into different activities.
Self-care is a vital approach to be kind to yourself. Self-care activities cannot only improve your mood, but in addition help reduce feelings of tension and stress. Find out what activities make it easier to calm down or make you comfortable and incorporate them into your schedule.
Ask for help. Sometimes we don't realize that our expectations are unrealistic. A conversation with someone we trust can provide clarity.
Your expectations won't change overnight, but in the event you work at them, over time you will notice the progress you've been working towards. It's not all the time easy, but adjusting unrealistic expectations can bring tremendous advantages and a brand new sense of peace.
If you're experiencing emotional distress or are finding it particularly difficult to regulate your unrealistic expectations, you're not alone. A licensed psychologist may help.